four things I wish all women did

I have always had a list of things that I wish all young girls knew and things that I wish they would do without prompting. This list is from my own experience being super frustrated at girls who are doing stupid things. Pay attention because these are helpful towards the guys you interact with but more importantly, it will improve your life in ways you can scarcely imagine now.

1. don't ever take pity on a guy(at least don't let him know that you do)

  I for whatever reason am looked down upon because I've never been in a relationship or may not be as socially active as others. Many women around me assume that I'm miserable all the time and I hate myself. This, of course, isn't true but I have to deal with an endless stream of false compliments. "Oh, Timothy you have a nice smile", "hey Timothy that's so cool that you can do that thing that's actually super easy but I'm just trying to find nice things to say about you".  Don't you think we know exactly what you're doing? You don't treat your boyfriend like that. In fact, you show your affection by making fun of him.  Complimenting a girl who feels lonely or unwanted might be effective but by complimenting a guy too much you're really insulting him because we know you're looking very hard for nice things to say.  As a general rule, if you feel sorry for a guy that seems lonely give him something to do that's helpful. Us guys define our self-worth not based on our image but on what we can do. We feel better when we feel genuinely needed.

2. stop wasting so much energy and hurting yourself for your appearance 

I know that's easier said than done.  Appearance is so crucial to girls and I get it but there's just too many completely unnecessary things that yall do that makes you look unattractive and just look downright painful.  like high heels, why? just why? I cringe when I see a girl wear them because they look like they're in pain. I have heard on several occasions women say that we need to respect all things yall go through to look good for men. sorry no. I can't speak for all men but just about all the things you try to do to make yourselves look more beautiful have the opposite effect. Makeup, for the most part, makes you look like super ugly clowns rather than improving anything. I'm sure there are some small acceptions where a moderate amount could be good for covering up a nasty zit or something but beyond that, it just looks terrible. Consider also that guys that expect that kind of stuff from you might not be worth your time.

3. stop trying to be men and doing the job of  men (bear with me for a second. It's not what you think)

How absurd would it be if hammers started a hammerist movement because they are being oppressed by workers because they aren't being used as screwdrivers? You cant use a hammer to screw nails, its just not gonna happen. Hammers are wonderful indispensable tools that a toolbox would be incomplete without, but it's not useful for everything.  Women should have the choice to do whatever they want and they have the ability to do a lot of things but I have run into too many domineering angry women who force their way through. Its very unattractive and makes me sad to see. Of course, this is caused partially by unappreciative men. Don't let messed up twisted masculinity mess up your natural beauty and vulnerability. Don't ever resent your vulnerability. You may not realize that that's your greatest strength but it is. Every great woman in the bible used their vulnerability and their beauty to bring about God's will. Esther saved the entire nation of Israel from genocide because  Xerxes couldn't help but admire her incredible beauty and courage. Ruth strait up seduced Boaz into doing the right thing. I think all guys would rather their wives use their femininity to get them to play the man rather than nagging them to death.

4. consider the feelings of others over your own sympathy for them. 

 This one is huge. I'm sure you've heard the term the friend zone. This is why this happens so often and IT NEEDS TO STOP! We need to set a dating code of conduct that we accept as a culture to be the ground rules of all relationships.

1. If someone asks you out and you aren't attracted to them, DONT GO OUT WITH THEM!!

       If you think a guy is nice and sweet and just great all around but you don't like him, the best thing you can do is tell him as soon as possible that you aren't interested. This would avoid so much unnecessary heartbreak.

2. stop stringing along a guy because you don't want to break up with him. 

          The same basic idea as the first. it's selfish to avoid hurting other people because you don't have the guts to say no or to bring bad news. Your hurting everyone so much more by sparing their feelings. Heartbreak is just a part of life and we need to accept that and not be afraid of telling people the truth. If you truly care about the person for goodness sake let them go!

3. don't go out with someone you would never ever possibly consider marrying someday

    If you do this you are wasting your time and the time of others. There may be a time and a place for dating purely for fun but both parties must be completely aware of the arrangement and under no false pretenses. Just for goodness sake BE HONEST WITH PEOPLE!

It's almost a cliche that honesty is the most important thing in relationships but its so true but no one seems to heed the advice. How many bad things happen in movies that would be over before they even started if the main character(s) was just honest with the people around them about what's going on?
example: Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets

Dumbledore: Harry is there something you wish to tell me?

Harry: Nope nothing, we good over here. there's totally not a giant snake wandering through the castle that I happen to be able to speak to. nope, no problems here.

Let people know things they need to know and you could save everyone a lot of trouble.



I hope you at least consider what I'm saying here. Some of these are more obvious than others but there are still a few here and there that continue to treat other people and themselves in this way and I just had to vent. let me know if you relate to any of these things.

bad habits

Its been a while. Many things have happened in my life and I have done much growing up since my last post in 2016. It feels like ages ago and I look at my work and think. I wrote that garbage?  There is much there that is genuinely good but the grammar and the random impulses of thought seem so disorganized and I'm not sure why anyone read any of my posts. 

Today I'm noticing how many little bad habits I have on a daily basis effect me. I went to Chick-Fila on campus to get a meal that I didn't need. I wasn't even hungry and I had absolutely no valid reason to spend any money. I drank my warm flat coke and finished my food and felt uncomfortably full. I ask myself why?  My behavior didn't lead to any kind of real payoff. I felt much worse after eating but I still couldn't stop myself from doing it.

This one of many habits I have picked up over the years and very few of them benefit me. Most of the time we move along completely unaware that we do things that we don't even want to be doing. My parents discovered years ago that going out to eat was a complete waste. For a family of four, it became very expensive and at the end of the day, the food was consistently lower quality than what we could make at home. Not to mention that we got sick far more often than after we quit eating out. The worse part about it is that we went out to eat because that's just what we're supposed to do. We got conned into a destructive habit simply because of

social norms! I can't even begin to explain how frustratingthis makes me. 

We all think we know what we want, but clearly, we don't have a clue because we constantly make choices that make us miserable. If we all start looking closely at our daily decisions, you'll find you probably do a lot of very pointless things because everyone else does it, or maybe you've always done it and can't even remember why. Whatever the case may be, when I begin to realize these habits they begin to lose their hold on me. Getting rid of these strongly reinforced behaviors is easier said than done but starting to analyze your world could greatly improve your life.

I'm sure everyone can empathize with this and I hope my thoughts can in some way help you.
I hope to be forming a good habit of making a blog post on a regular basis. 

Hope yall have a great day!

trust

recently God has been continually rehashing a problem that seems to a universal fundamental human issue living here on the earth. He seems to work on my life in chapters that all have a heading. right now the the question is creativity vs practicality. it seems like everything in my life right now surrounds this problem.I want to spend my life do so many amazing things but at the end of the day you have to find a way to make money.the boundaries of the world i live in get very frustrating. i mean this is a universal things regardless of who you talk to. i watched a video in one of my classes at school about the same thing.

      he was an architect describing why architecture has gone stale in the past. why do we stick with a handful of designs? because we know that people like those designs and no one will get upset. how many parthenon imitations have you seen? they are everywhere! its because any time that an architect creates a new fresh design most people freak out. the problem is they haven't had the feedback to be able to explore new ways of building so they have to settle for old super boring but dependable designs.

      this culture is ever present in youtube today as well. every youtuber seems to be focused on doing videos that will get consistent number of views not on something that they really love and something super creative. I HATE THIS! I ask God why again does this have to happen? I remember the burden of adam after they left garden. he is destined to toil in the sun all the days of his life. yeaahhhhhh..... i just thought of that and honestly i don't want to go there.Holy cow guys. as i am writing this i decided to pull up a random scripture and this is what i got.

 For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.

well there yah have it guys. i certainly did not plan that but there it is. God kind of just answered my question. you can decide to take this as Gods word or not but clearly what he is saying to me here is that there is nothing good that can come from doing anything just because it pleases man but God.So clearly in the context of what i have  been saying thi means dont do anything just to please other people. that means don't waste your time trying to get views or do something popular.I tell you there are things that God has helped me build that are immensely satisfying. the lightsaber design that i will be showing off in the near future i believe is directly inspired by the spirit itself.it makes me feel  great but i get the feeling that my work also pleased God and there are fewer more satisfying feelings in the world. so theres one answer at least. don't work for other approval even if its for the sake of success meaning money. so the question is always so how am i supposed to provide for myself? i kind of need to pay the bills and that seems to be the only way for me to do that as an entertainer. oh here we go again another verse. 

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. 

not as the world gives you but i give you. so does that mean that your'e going to give me stuff that's better than what people will? i guess so....... oh  another one   

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me

ok so some of you may not get the significance of this one. i was thinking yeah you'll provide for me but not what i really need(lies dirty filthy demonic lies by the way).so when he said my grace is sufficient for you and my power is made perfect in your weakness he is saying.you think you know what you need but you dont.if you come to me i will take care of all your needs.  as much trust God has earned with very specific examples in my life where he has come through for me i still am left with my current situation. I have an ok part time job living at home with my parents. i don't want to live with my parents anymore and i'm still at school but i have little hope of easily finding a good job out of college. so i highly doubt he means that he's going to make a good paying job appear in front of me. so then what? i mean i'm a minimalist at heart. I want to live as simple life as possible to live. i don't want money or power or stuff i just want to be left in peace. wow something just popped out of that sentence.  peace, i just want people to leave me alone. yeah i know there is a nasty wound in there somewhere. i guess the difficult thing here is trusting God. Don't worry about your life yes yes i know i get it but........ but but but. not buts. this is not a problem unique to me. we all live in a practical world where we are expected to pay our taxes and support ourselves (and go to church )and get married and have kids and use facebook. but think about how many of those things we don't even need. as frustrated and scared about my future i'm pretty sure regardless i will always have a roof over my head and food to eat. but yet i still worry. im sure we can blame satans minions for some of these feelings but we need to remember that if we stick with God and he will provide.Only do things that please him. even if it looks like a bad idea to the world. its really quite awesome how often doing the risky unpopular but christ glorifying things works out. we forget we are living on Gods earth and not our own. he set the ground rules to work out the way he wants it to. the laws of physics and the constant principles of the universe will always benefit those who take God's advice. we may not see the path but if you walk on it i guarantee you that it will work out gloriously 

the craftsman

                    Once upon a time there was a craftsman.  The craftsman made all sorts of wonderful things. He made mountains of purple and waters of blue. Tress of green all beautiful hues. The craftsman loved to make things, most of all he loved to make people like him. The craftsman was all alone so he made people to love him. His people where perfect in every way beautiful and flawless. One day the craftsmen asked them; “do you love me?”  His people replied “yes craftsman we love you with all our hearts, we would do anything for you. You are the greatest, anything you say will come true, and anything you set your mind to happens in an instant.”

           The craftsmen did not smile, he was saddened. He realized his people loved him only for his great power. The craftsmen thought long and hard about his creation and with a heavy heart he decided to make people that are imperfect. He made all sorts of strange people. Some big some small, some ugly and some beautiful, some smart and some dumb. In the beginning his people loved him but because of their imperfection they soon forgot the wonders of the craftsman. The craftsmen felt sadness beyond understanding. His people he so dearly loved, rejected him for who he was and they chased after other things. The craftsmen wanted more than anything for his people to love him but he wanted them to love him not for his great power but for his heart.

             The craftsmen came up with a bold plan; he would walk among his people as a regular man. No splendor or grandeur that his people would desire him but only his heart to draw them near. Most of his people despised him because he was not special but there were those who saw him and loved him not for his beauty or splendor for he had none but they loved him for his heart. He cherished these people and only them did he call his children. The craftsman sacrificed everything so that his children could be with him and only to his children he revealed his power and majesty.  One day the craftsman asked his children “do you love me?” the children said, “yes father, we love you, even though we are imperfect you have taken care of us and treasured us. We see your heart and we love you”. The craftsman smiled with pure joy. He lived with his children forever and they lived happily ever after.

Hey guys

I’ve just recently had something important on my heart to say for a while. I hope its not to long but I really need to say it. There are a great number of things that have made me furious with the church. One of the issues that is closest to my own heart is the roles that the church has assigned to gender. Oh no! He’s going to get seriously controversial! Yes,…….. yes I am and if its to much for you then just keep scrolling down on the newsfeed and find something else to read. In some ways the church culture that has been created has created ideas about gender among other things that have absolutely nothing to do with what God has already established from the beginning. In the view of the church,women are always supposed to be busy little helpers that are buzzing around tiring themselves out with endless tasks and volunteering for one thing after another. If you think about it every church has at least one busy body role model that is looking for attention and the praise she so desperately needs. At any church event all of the staff go out of their way to praise and blow up the work that this particular women does. Its not really at all what God has made women to be.  On top of that the church has made no effort to fight the ideas of feminism in the world right now. Unfortunately we look no different from the world in this. You go to most modern churches and you the same messages you see in the world. It sounds something like this this: The white man has taken and conquered with violence and brute force and because of their pig headed ways women have been oppressed throughout history and we have to stand together as women and take our rightful place in society and so on. As Christians we should know better then this. I look at this movement and I see hurt broken women who are trying to find what they have been looking for all their life. From a young age, both men and women are looking for the answer to a very important question. For women its am I beautiful? Am I lovely? Am I worth fighting for? For young boys its am I strong? Can I take care of myself? Am I dangerous? These questions where never answered the way they needed them to be. The feminist movement is a cry out against a real problem. Men have failed women without question. There are so many women out there that have been hurt so many times that they have become callused and bitter. Women where always meant to be able to be vulnerable and open but it seems foolish to do so when men have over and over time and time again only replied to the question with: I don’t care about you. You’re not worth my time and effort. You’re not special to me. This response can be both verbal and through action. Some of the most powerful language spoken is often through action or lack thereof. Men that make no effort to be there send a message no different then that spoken verbally with hurtful language.so in response women do the very thing that kills their souls. They take control because no longer can men be trusted with it. You don’t care about us because you are selfish jerks that only want to use women so I’m going to take my anger out on you by taking control and asserting myself. The church somehow feels like the answer is to lift up women who do behave in this combative way. The church thinks like most of the world in believing that we just need to step aside and let these angry women have whatever they want in order to keep the peace. The problem is that behaving like that can never get them what they truly want. This response is so wrong and it only hurts everyone. To the women reading this if men have ever hurt you don’t let them take even more away from you by trying to seize control. If you have watched all the old Disney animation movies you will remember some important antagonist characters like Cruella Deville and the evil step mother and especially Ursula from the little mermaid. These characters unlike the male villains had an especially evil presence. There was always something far more twisted and evil about a women lusting for power. When I was young I had nightmares about Ursula because she had to be one of the scariest Disney villains I had ever seen. Its hard to see women behave like this because its such an adulteration from what God intended. Satan has hurt so many women by convincing them they are not worth anything. God is the one man who will never hurt you and he sees something in you that you cant see in yourself and no matter what anyone has ever told you he believes that you are beautiful and lovely and his is the only opinion that should ever matter to you!

Because of this epidemic in our society today, culture has seen all forms of masculinity as evil. You talk to most evolutionists and they will all tell you that most of the masculine nature of violence and strength and male dominance are left overs from the caveman years when we still had to hunt for our food and needed the strength of men to survive as humanity. They will also tell you that now masculinity plays no real role in modern society and it needs to be phased out .I cant possibly convey to you how furious this message makes me. Masculinity like so many things is inherently good and Satan has used it to do evil. Most men today are either emasculated cowards who don’t stand for anything or twisted violent men who only hurt the people around them. The church is mostly filled with the former. The church’s idea of a perfect Christian man is the infamous “nice guy”. He walks around with a big fake smile on his face and he doesn’t stand for anything but does what everyone else tells him to do. Never making any waves, never rocking the boat. Well let me tell yah that doesn’t come close to what God has in mind for men.

If anyone tells you that Jesus was a nice guy they know absolutely nothing about him. When he came he turned the world as we know it upside down. There wasn’t a man who has ever been hated and loved as much as he has. Most people in high places of church hated his guts because he was destroying their authority. Jesus was a passionate and violent man. He was dangerous to be around. The apostles had to be constantly asking themselves does Jesus have a death wish or something? Nobody tells the Pharisees (THE leaders of the community and the church) that they are a brood of vipers! Jesus said himself that he did not come to this world to bring peace but a sword. It makes me angry to see the church making Jesus into a woos. Today its almost seen as sinful to feel too passionate about something! If you take away Gods all-powerful nature and his wrath and his fierce passion including his love get……….. Well exactly the image of God that the church offers us today. Without Gods passion and his willingness to fight for those he loves you get a God that really isn’t worth worshiping at all. Its also interesting to me how many of our nice guy Christians complain about how often girls go after the “bad boy” instead of them. The answer is clear. Women are attracted to men that exemplify the fierce passion of God and the bad boys may be going the wrong way but they sure are willing to fight for themselves . Women want to be a part of an adventure and they want to be around men that are passionate and dangerous, they want to follow someone who lives life with reckless abandon. As misguided as it might be women go after the “bad boy” because they are very dangerous and they will guarantee drama and adventure. Unfortunately these relationships always end badly because these men have no real morality and most of them are the selfish pigs that cause the problems that I wrote about above. Men ,stop griping about how women wont give you the time of day and start behaving like the kind of men that God called you to be. He needs warriors that are willing to die for the real cause of Christianity. Women you can also help men to answer this call.  I hear all the time women complaining about their husbands having weapons in the house or their little boys are to rough and they need to be like girls and be quiet and sit still. This is crushing to a mans spirit. If you want men to act with passion and strength then you have to allow them to explore their own hearts. You wonder sometimes why you cant get to your boyfriend / husbands heart? Its because they aren’t allowed to explore the most central part of their own hearts. I think of the story of William Wallace in the movie brave heart. He was an incredibly passionate man that stood for something honorable and that passion spilled into all parts of his life including his love. Masculinity is not evil, its a beautiful thing but the church has trampled it and thus taken all of the strength and the might of the church and in doing so has handed the church over to Satan to do with as he pleases. God made men to be warriors to fight the attacks of the evil one but instead we pretend like the spiritual war isn’t real. We need to explore the heart of Christianity and the passion that it was created from and dig deep. No more witty clichés that make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside but lest get together and get to the heart.

If you have read this far thank you for listening. I can’t take credit for these ideas. Many of these ideas are more eloquently expressed by Mr. John Eldridge in his books :Wild At Heart and Captivating. I highly suggest reading both of those books to learn more on this subject.

the cliche'o'matic!

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