1. don't ever take pity on a guy(at least don't let him know that you do)
I for whatever reason am looked down upon because I've never been in a relationship or may not be as socially active as others. Many women around me assume that I'm miserable all the time and I hate myself. This, of course, isn't true but I have to deal with an endless stream of false compliments. "Oh, Timothy you have a nice smile", "hey Timothy that's so cool that you can do that thing that's actually super easy but I'm just trying to find nice things to say about you". Don't you think we know exactly what you're doing? You don't treat your boyfriend like that. In fact, you show your affection by making fun of him. Complimenting a girl who feels lonely or unwanted might be effective but by complimenting a guy too much you're really insulting him because we know you're looking very hard for nice things to say. As a general rule, if you feel sorry for a guy that seems lonely give him something to do that's helpful. Us guys define our self-worth not based on our image but on what we can do. We feel better when we feel genuinely needed.
2. stop wasting so much energy and hurting yourself for your appearance
I know that's easier said than done. Appearance is so crucial to girls and I get it but there's just too many completely unnecessary things that yall do that makes you look unattractive and just look downright painful. like high heels, why? just why? I cringe when I see a girl wear them because they look like they're in pain. I have heard on several occasions women say that we need to respect all things yall go through to look good for men. sorry no. I can't speak for all men but just about all the things you try to do to make yourselves look more beautiful have the opposite effect. Makeup, for the most part, makes you look like super ugly clowns rather than improving anything. I'm sure there are some small acceptions where a moderate amount could be good for covering up a nasty zit or something but beyond that, it just looks terrible. Consider also that guys that expect that kind of stuff from you might not be worth your time.
3. stop trying to be men and doing the job of men (bear with me for a second. It's not what you think)
How absurd would it be if hammers started a hammerist movement because they are being oppressed by workers because they aren't being used as screwdrivers? You cant use a hammer to screw nails, its just not gonna happen. Hammers are wonderful indispensable tools that a toolbox would be incomplete without, but it's not useful for everything. Women should have the choice to do whatever they want and they have the ability to do a lot of things but I have run into too many domineering angry women who force their way through. Its very unattractive and makes me sad to see. Of course, this is caused partially by unappreciative men. Don't let messed up twisted masculinity mess up your natural beauty and vulnerability. Don't ever resent your vulnerability. You may not realize that that's your greatest strength but it is. Every great woman in the bible used their vulnerability and their beauty to bring about God's will. Esther saved the entire nation of Israel from genocide because Xerxes couldn't help but admire her incredible beauty and courage. Ruth strait up seduced Boaz into doing the right thing. I think all guys would rather their wives use their femininity to get them to play the man rather than nagging them to death.4. consider the feelings of others over your own sympathy for them.
This one is huge. I'm sure you've heard the term the friend zone. This is why this happens so often and IT NEEDS TO STOP! We need to set a dating code of conduct that we accept as a culture to be the ground rules of all relationships.1. If someone asks you out and you aren't attracted to them, DONT GO OUT WITH THEM!!
If you think a guy is nice and sweet and just great all around but you don't like him, the best thing you can do is tell him as soon as possible that you aren't interested. This would avoid so much unnecessary heartbreak.
2. stop stringing along a guy because you don't want to break up with him.
The same basic idea as the first. it's selfish to avoid hurting other people because you don't have the guts to say no or to bring bad news. Your hurting everyone so much more by sparing their feelings. Heartbreak is just a part of life and we need to accept that and not be afraid of telling people the truth. If you truly care about the person for goodness sake let them go!
3. don't go out with someone you would never ever possibly consider marrying someday
If you do this you are wasting your time and the time of others. There may be a time and a place for dating purely for fun but both parties must be completely aware of the arrangement and under no false pretenses. Just for goodness sake BE HONEST WITH PEOPLE!
It's almost a cliche that honesty is the most important thing in relationships but its so true but no one seems to heed the advice. How many bad things happen in movies that would be over before they even started if the main character(s) was just honest with the people around them about what's going on?
example: Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets
Dumbledore: Harry is there something you wish to tell me?
Harry: Nope nothing, we good over here. there's totally not a giant snake wandering through the castle that I happen to be able to speak to. nope, no problems here.
Let people know things they need to know and you could save everyone a lot of trouble.
I hope you at least consider what I'm saying here. Some of these are more obvious than others but there are still a few here and there that continue to treat other people and themselves in this way and I just had to vent. let me know if you relate to any of these things.
